If Football Matches Finished at Half-Time

(Words By Anthony Hodgson)

Hello there, yes it's me, after buying Full Metal Dagger a burger and a late night chat about blogging (he posted something I got nosey, then made him an offer), I now work for the hairy mafia. I would just like to thank Full Metal Dagger and Jerk From The Coach for allowing me to now post my inner thoughts on Dagenham and Redbridge on their site. So let's get started shall we?

I asked for ideas about a new blog post, I was originally going to trapse through the forum and give my take on some of the hot topics on there, something I may do in the future, but Thomas Thorn gave me a better idea so thanks for the title mate.

What if by some quirk of fate FIFA decided that what football needed wasn't goal line technology, balls with sensors in, 5 referees, clubs run financially properly, a bribe free organisation, but for matches to end at half-time whatever the result was at the time? A bit like the golden goal rule they had at one stage, must say great idea there Sepp got anymore stonkers? Women wearing tighter tops for football? Sorry you tried that one didn't you, anyway here's what I found out.



Would it change the course of history? Would it mean that clubs that survived on the last day of the season be relegated instead? Would it effect those who won promotion not have achieved it? To be honest I couldn't really care less, and seeing as this is a Dagenham and Redbridge site let's concentrate on the daggers shall we?

So looking back over our league history, having looked through loads of stats (you've got to love Wikipedia), consulted my memory banks, well I'm getting on and it ain't what it was, Christ I can't even remember the kids names half the time let alone whether I've just been to the toilet, (always best to go again if you can't remember) I have found out the following. Nothing, not a thing. There isn't a website I know of, so having come up short in my search I then decided to have a look at how many games as a league club we would have won and points we would have gained.

I shall be using what I shall call the Sepp Blatter stupid rule, well cricket has the duckworth-Lewis method and no one gets that do they? So how many points would we be on and also how many would we have lost using this method.

So here we go then the results are in and I can announce the following, the winner of this years X-factor is, oh crap sorry wrong blog :). Right back on track then.

In our first season in League 2 07-08 we gained 49pts in total using the Sepp Blatter rule we would have ended the season on 39pts a difference of 10 points

Season 08-09 when we just missed the play-offs we gained 68pts in total, using the Sepp Blatter rule we would have ended the season on 47pts a difference of 21 points

Season 09-10 our promotion winning season we ended on 72pts in total, using the Sepp Blatter rule we would have ended the season on 34pts a difference of 38 points

Season 10-11 our only season in League 1 we ended on 47pts in total, using the Sepp Blatter rule we would have ended the season on 29pts a difference of 18 points.

So what does this all mean then? Well, hang on a minute while I work it out, 2+3-4x22= I have no idea! No seriously, believe it or not our future wouldn't have changed. We would still have been relegated last season, we would still have been promoted a couple of seasons ago.

That my friends is the beauty of football, you can stick as many equations and stupid rules into it as much as you like but at the end of the day nothing changes. Players will miss open goals, score stunning 30 yarders, teams will somehow beat their rivals 8-2, and underdogs will win games they shouldn't.

You can't change football no matter how much you try, you can't for a simple reason, it's played by humans for humans. When emotion is involved all reason goes out of the window. Football is a game of passion and emotion, so let's leave it alone and live with the memories, good and bad, that have been created by it and not worry about the what ifs? Because in football the what ifs are what make the game the beauty that it is.

Thank you to statsbuster.com for all the football league records.

Ant

Herefeeeeughhhhhhh

Knowing i'd be missing the midweek game away in the Far East (at the
Matchstick Stadium, Leyton) for a game in the Dulux Super Cup I
figured that i'd best sort out my football fix with a trip to glorious
Hereford, a place known for its cattle more than its football.

Saturday 3rd September - Hereford United - Away

....and looking at Edgar Street its easy to see why.  I practically
had to grease myself up to fit through the turnstiles, and when i did
was presented with the worlds slowest tea bar, and toilets which were
nothing more than a groove keyed from the floor tiles, and a badly
placed sink.  In addition, they stunk.  Welcome to Medieval Hereford.
The Mappa Mundi wouldn't have looked out of place framed on the wall
in front of aforementioned floor groove.



Our stand was a true beauty to behold.  The Arthur Scargill Stand
(Cargill...) was slimmer than some of our supporters (myself included)
and is made up of a lower tier of terracing, and an upper of 5 rows of
seating.  The lower tier view is obstructed....i say obstructed, its
obstructed in much the same way a coffin obstructs ones view of a
corpse.  There may as well have been a wall built an inch in front of
our faces it was that bad.  In fact, the only decent-ish view was to
be gained from an area which they had painted yellow markings onto the
floor of, and of which it was a crime to stand in.  I dont know why
common sense cant be applied when a club that takes such small numbers
away from home are playing.  Anyone left in the ground long enough to
die in an emergency when the rush outside consists of a queue of 13
people and a hot dog, in reality, deserves to die.  So, we had to
stand behind the pillars to try and view the game.



During the pre-game warm up and indeed after the whistle, it could be
noted that there was absolutely no atmosphere whatsoever.  The home
fans are appalling, I dont think i even heard them until around 20
mins from the end.  Still....rather Edgar Street than a soulless
flatpack like Shrewsbury Town - as when the supporters did bother, you
could hear them.


I really didn't get to see much first half, and it was largely
uneventful nevertheless (what i could see anyway).  The only point of
note was a penalty shout for us, which seemed to see the linesman call
for a spot kick, only for it to be refused by the referee and see us
given a throw in.  Not quite sure what went on there, but, shocking
officiating - as usual.  The sides went in 0-0, and for the second
half we decided that we'd sneak upstairs into the seats to actually
watch the game.

...I wish we hadn't have bothered.  I wont pretend we looked useful in
any way, and in my opinion the bright point came with the introduction
of Jake Reed.  This game had all the feeling of two sides who come the
end of the season will be struggling at the wrong end of the table,
looking through their anus's at the bottom two places.  Why do we come
out so negative away?  After 60 minutes or so, i spent much of the
game staring into the distance at Hereford Cathedral.



On the other hand, when looking at the teams, it can be noted that we
were missing the likes of Elito and Arber, who will be influential to
how we finish come the end of the season.  No sign of Dominic Greene
either - for reasons I am not aware of.   Jon Nurse was away on
International duty.

So roll on 85 minutes, when a weak Hereford goal made the score 1-0,
thus giving them their first league win of the season, and ensuring
our record of conceding late goals lives on.  It's frustrating,
because we could have so easily had something from this game -
Hereford were bloody awful.  I wouldnt be surprised to see them go
down this season.





JerkFromTheCoach

Next - A Game no one cares about, apparently!

2 Halves, Hospitality and Headaches

Disclaimer – When leaving for this match I completely forgot my camera and the memory card on my phone was full, therefore I have no photos from this game.  But fear not, I shall replace the photos with shite stick-man drawings! YAY! – FMD (sorry)

“Are you coming to Romford with us then?”
There are a couple of scenarios that ran through my mind as I that sentence reached my half asleep ears.  The first scenario I envisioned saw me peeling myself from my comfy bed, crawling into the family car for the journey and then walking bleary eyed around Romford’s many shops (stopping for a Subway sandwich along the way) and then being dropped off at Vicky road in time for a pint.

The alternative saw me planting my face back into the warm crater I had imprinted in my pillow, falling back to sleep for about an hour, dragging my carcass to the couch to watch Soccer AM (on an hour delay due to the delights of Sky+) and then…  well that’s as far as the plan went.  “Would you mind if I didn’t” I mumbled before rolling over and falling back to sleep.   Bed 1 – 0 Outside world

About an hour later I was sitting on the couch watching SoccerAM and enjoying a cup of tea when my phone rang. It was Jerk’ finding out if I was going down to The Bell for a pre match drinky because someone he’d spoken to on “footballforums.net” was going to be there and what’s more he was going to drive down there and did I want a lift!
“Lemme finish my tea and put some pants on!”

Saturday 27th August - Torquay Untied - Home

The previous weekend had seen us take all three points from Bradford so I was quietly confident that we could do the same against the Gulls.

At The Bell I met the Torquay fan that Jerk’ knew (Alex) and his friend Paul (who I shall call “Torquay Paul” to save confusion between him and our Paul), both of whom were already well into their days drinking. Not wanting to be left out I got my pint and chatted with the two. I found both to be very good company and the banter was free flowing.  Torquay Paul commented how we were the first metalheads he’d met on his many away days to which I said “count yerself lucky, Barking and Dagenham aint exactly swimming with us!”



After about 4 pints and a shot of Vodka (courtesy of Torquay Paul) it was time to catch the 103 to Victoria Road.  The bus rocked with the sound of 7 drunken Daggers and 2 drunken Gulls as songs were sung at each other and anyone else who dared get on the bus! But the bus driver was very understanding about the whole thing and even gave us a wave in response to “driver, give us a wave!” top bloke!

As we got into Fortress Victoria our yellow wearing guests made for the Marcus James and we made for the sieve.  The game itself (as many are) was a game of two halves. Two very distinctive halves.

The first half saw us controlling the game but not finding that all important end product. I thought Tomlin was going to get his first of the season when he picked up Abu Ogogo’s deflected shot, sadly he fired it at the keeper who smothered the ball.  It was Sam Williams who opened the scoring, Gavin Tomlin put the ball into the box for Nurse who lifted it on to Williams whose whipped header curled into the far corner.  1-0 to the Daggers.  So far it had been a solid showing from the Daggers and a lovely little bit of link up between Williams, Tomlin and DJ Green nearly culminated in DJ getting his first but for a save , the ball made it back to DJ who took an ambitious cross/shot which Robert Olejnik just managed to tip it over the bar.  During the halftime break whilst eating my burger I realised I was developing quite a nasty headache, not good!



The second half was a completely different matter, I don’t know whether Torquay came out of the traps or if we run out of steam or a mixture of the two. Whatever it was the second half did not make for comfortable watching. We started brightly enough but within 10 minutes Torquay started to box us in and Chris Lewington really came into his own with a couple of saves to keep us in it.

Then the almost inevitable happened; Mark Arber tripped Billy Bodin in the box and the Ref pointed towards the spot Rene Howe stepped up and converted. 1-1. At this point I could honestly see us conceding again, maybe it’s just the cynic in me. But despite this we held on for the point. I hate to cast shadows over points but walking out I couldn’t help but feel it was two points dropped. In hindsight points are points and I shant moan.



We met up with the Torquay boys in the car park and jumped on the 103 back to The Bell and after a quick pint I decided that the pain in my head was too much to bare and I went home and quite literally laid down in a dark room and fell asleep.

COME ON YOU DAG….
(shhh I have a headache!) 

Come on you daggers!

FMD

Next – The land of Milk and errrr Beef!  Hereford!

I Don't Wanna Say i Told You So...

I think it's fair to say the mood in camp was at best mixed and at worse, hysterical. Maybe.

The loss to AFC Wimbledon had left a cloud over Vicky Road and a bit of a division in our fan base;  pessimism vs optimism, ambition vs contentment. Despite this I was surprisingly optimistic about our chances in our next match against fellow league 1 dropouts Swindon Town. You see I have noticed a pattern with Daggers (especially last season); we seem to be a mirror for the teams we are playing. If we play a good team we step up and play well, if we are playing a less skilled opponent we'll play sloppy and concede soft goals (the only exception is cup matches were all bets are off). Even though Swindon had Paolo Di Cannio now installed as manager and should be aiming for promotion they were in the same boat as us with 1 win and 1 loss and like I said, I had a good feeling.


Tuesday 16th August - Swindon Town - Home

I wasn't as organised as I would have liked so I decided with time running short I would forego a trip to the Bell and just have a quick pint in the clubhouse before kick-off. I got the tube from Upney to Daggy-East with the missus and her mate and we took the short walk to the ground. The car park wasn't amazingly packed so with 20 minutes to 7:45 I was optimistic I could get in the clubhouse and sink a nice cold Grolsh before kick-off. I marched off to the bar but just before I got to the door I realised no one had followed me. I walked back a short way to find MrsMD and Co' queuing to buy 50-50 tickets "arrrrrrgggghhhhh!". Now while I wholeheartedly support the 50-50 scheme and often participate (anything that gives money to the club is good in my eyes) but anything that holds me up from a pre-match beer is an inconvenience that must be eliminated. The clubhouse wasn't too packed, so a beer was acquired and imbibed with relative ease.



Walking through the turnstile into the familiar air of the LBB&D Stadium I looked at the Marcus James which was about a third full. Not bad for a Tuesday night. The teams were just coming out as I found my usual spot.
Early on Ollie Lee flashed a shot wide and new boy Brian Woodhall fired into the Swindon Keeper’s waiting arms. The Sieve was in good voice and ex-Hammer Di Cannio in the away dugout and Ex-Dagger Matt Ritchie on the pitch banter was aplenty.  Town midfielder Etiënne Esajas fired from way out but rising star Chris Lewington collected nicely from a dive.



Alan McCormack passed to the feet of Raffaele De Vita whose curling effort went wide of the far post.  At the other end of the pitch Johnny Nurse whipped in a ball but Brian Woodhall’s header flew high over the bar. De Vita received the ball in the box and looked odds on for a good shot until he was brought down by Scott Doe. De Vita, Di Cannio and the Swindon fans all screamed for a penalty but the Ref waved it away as a fair tackle, looking back at the replay it could be 50/50 at best, at worse he got the man then kicked the ball away, so maybe a lucky escape. In response to Di Cannio’s outrage a rousing chorus of “Fuck off Di Cannio!” filled the air, that and a lot of bad Italian accents! “babba da booopi!”.



We had to wait till the second half for a goal and it seemed like it would come from Woodhall who latched onto Nurse’s pass and drove the ball low, hard and (only just) wide. The opening goal eventually came from a penalty; Tomlin received the ball from a throw on and made a dash into the box only to be tripped by Paul Caddis. The Ref pointed to the spot and Mark Arber Marked his return as the penalty taker with a nice clean strike into the net. 1-0 to the Daggers.



The Robins desperately tried to fight back and I thought they were sure to score when we just couldn’t seem to clear it out of the box and it was nearly matt Ritchie who buried it, but instead he smacked it into Doe but not before handling the ball and conceding a free kick.



As the final whistle blew a cheer rose from the sieve. The kind of cheer we all needed, teams and fans both. As the red and blue mass shuffled toward the exit the team came round to clap the fans and we rewarded them with applause.  My little troupe made our way to the bell for a celebratory drink and we encountered an amazingly drunk woman who told us her life story (a story of great riches, crippling poverty and arsehole children!).

2 wins out of 3 ain’t bad. Now all we needed was a goal from open play!

Come on you Daggers!

FMD

Next – We get drunk with some Torquay fans!

Oh, Did the football season start?

Soooooo we're back

First a quick rundown of where your favourite hairy buggers have been. Well Jerk' has been doing a butt-load of overtime in a bid to become the richest man in Becontree and I have been doing a voluntary work placement in the hope that my 6 year absence from getting up at a ridiculous time of the morning to go to a job I hate can finally end, YAY!  Other than that I have been running round like a crazy bastard trying to get my band together.

But don’t despair I still found time to go to some football (even if I haven’t found the time to write about it) first things first, the friendlies. In the interest of not giving our readers "World of Warcraft" levels of eyestrain I shall present my cliff notes versions of the ones I attended.
Saturday 23rd July - Orient - Home (friendly)
Pretty Boring but informative. Nice to see the new players and it was amusing to see how seriously the travelling "O's" took the fixture "bless!” 0-0

Tuesday 26th July - Wet Spam - Home (friendly)

Actually quite fun. The Daggers looked lively and if it wasn't for Robert Green clawing out Jake Reeds shot we could have walked out with a Draw (we should have shot for Greens feet!). 0-1 to the Hammers.

Saturday 30th July - Stevenage - Home (Friendly)

Was nice to see the fringe players run about especially injuries mounting. Overall, it was a pretty standard friendly.  1-2 to the Visitors.

Monday 1st August - Thurrock - Away (Friendly)

Probably my favourite pre-season game. Me the missus and a couple of fellow Daggers parked in between the dugouts listening to Wayne Burnett shout at everything in sight, simply awesome. Got to see Lee Goodwin being a manager and a lot of the trailists and fringe players looked pretty good. Ian Gayle (yes that one!!) Dwight Gayle, Osborn and Louis Dennis all impressed in our 5-0 win.
Oh Paul Terry didn’t try to shag my woman! Thumbs up all round then!



With Pre-season over all eyes turned to the opening trip to Macclesfield.

The night before I had requested an early wakeup call at about half 6 but at half 7 I was still glued with sleepy-time sweat to my pillow. Peeling myself from the bed I pulled on my brand new Daggers shirt, went through what I shall tactfully call "the morning routine!" and left for Vicky Road. We were greeted by the sight of about 100 or more early rising Daggers (hehehe that is officially my new term for "morning glory", BAD FMD!!! get your mind above yer navel!)

Saturday 6th August - Macclesfield Town - Away

Pleasantries where exchanged between people that hadn’t seen each other for 2 months and then we boarded the coach. The coach for today was a proper swish one and many of us spent a good 10 minutes playing around with the various features of the posh seats. "oooooh it goes sideways!!" the coach trundled up the motorway northbound and we watched "Paul" on the little flip down coach telly's The chatter on the coach reflected the optimism and nervousness a new season brings, I had a long chat with a relatively new Dagger who after last season is a self-proclaimed "life long convert". Good on ya mate!

Now the thing is, I can’t eat in the mornings. I have to have been awake a good couple of hours before my stomach even realises it exists, so I left without having any breakfast. The upshot of this was a very grumbling stomach about an hour into the journey! So you could imagine my relief when we finally pulled into the M6 toll road services. Sadly they were the worst services to buy food at! I wanted some hot food and I fancied a coffee (you know the kind, one of the ones that is really hard to say and remain viewed as a heterosexual, "Caramel Latté please!")

The two main food outlets were a typical service station hotplate convention and a burger bar called "The Burger Co". Burger sounded good to me so I opted for a "Bacon-Double cheeseburger" meal and the missus had a chicken Burger. My burger tasted like they had emptied the grease-traps into a bun and added ketchup, the 4 onion rings tasted like greasy cardboard. I was not impressed; you know one of those microwavable "rustlers" burgers? Yeah, it tasted about 10x worse than that. A bargain at £7 eh!!



After my disappointing meal I decided I couldn’t be bothered to join the mammoth queue for Costa, so instead I grumbled my way back to the coach and fell asleep. We rolled into Macclesfield and after a little confusion we parked outside Moss Rose. We bought our tickets then made for the Alfred McAlpine Stand which contains "Kieths Bar"  Named for the late Kieth Alexander who died just before the last time we faced the Silkmen. Was a nice new looking (if a little cramped) bar and I sank a much needed lager.


 Looking out of the bars window I could see both teams warming up and took in the ground. The first thing I noticed was the nearest stand to us the "Star Lane" end was an odd little stand, the front half was seating but the back half was Terraced, I’ve always had a soft spot for little quirks like that.



With kick-off approaching I picked up a programme and found a space in the tiny portion of the Alfred McAlpine Stand that was our allocation for today. An MC came out (no not the rapping kind ya silly kiddies!) and informed us that today was a family day and tried (unsuccessfully) to whip up the Silkmen....Silk..Women?  Silkpersons!! yeah that's it. Tried to whip the Silkpeople into a frenzy. A smattering of polite unimpressed applause was his reward, but when he acknowledged the travelling Daggers we made more noise than the other 3 and 3/4 stands combined! Yay us!

Overall I have to say this felt to me like a shaky game, what felt like a new team was trying to find its collective feet and work as a unit, and The Silkmen took advantage of this with Waide Fairhurst coming close twice early on, but The daggers had their own chances with new boy Howell and fan favourite Johnny Nurse both having a go. With Robbo gone (oh yeah forgot to mention that!) Chris Lewington was our man between the sticks and did very well to keep out a Nat Brown header from close range. Elito nearly came close after a nice bit of headed back and forth between him and (our new number 7) Sam Williams. But all in all not a half to write home about but certainly not the worse I have seen.



The deadlock was finally broken at 60 minutes (quick side note; my golden goals ticket had "59" for fuck sake!). The Daggers had looked better in the 2nd half so far so we were glad to see Gavin Tomlin's free kick guided home by Arber... no Elito.... no Arber...errrrrrrr... hmmmm it's been given to Elito, fair enough! Either way we went nuts and celebrated our first goal of the season.

Lewington made game winning saves when he parried away Tomlinson’s volley and blocked an Emile Sinclair shot, but sadly his last contribution was a very controversial sending off for handling the ball outside of the box, which no one in the away end saw. We went absolutely fucking mental and the last 10 minutes of the game were an exercise in referee hatred. Bile flowed onto the pitch until the final whistle calmed us down. It now looks like there may have been a handball from the follow-up shot making the red card justified. But I stand by our outburst of contempt, we are here to support the boys and we didn’t think it was handball at the time and we made the appropriate noise.

I mean even the Macc's players were trying to tell the ref it was a header.
All in all I think we were a good crowd, in good voice and 3 points was a welcome start to the season. It wasn’t until the last few minutes of the match that the prophecy of rain was finally fulfilled. We walked through the rain to the coach and settled in for the (damp) journey home.




The Tuesday after The Daggers lost 5-0 to Bournemouth in our annual first round exit from the league cup. I myself didn't go and could only listen up to the third goal before an amazing wave of apathy washed over me (you know the kind, the kind that means you can decide not to care about your team receiving a battering) so I turned off the commentary and had a cry in the corner. I mean a beer.

Next on the horizon was our first home game against Football League newcomers AFC Wimbledon. I don't need to outline the Dons rise to league status here as every site/paper/sports show has already well covered it. Nethertheless here they were and they needed their first league win.

Saturday 13th August - AFC Wimbledon - Home
Saturday morning saw a welcome return to my home game routine. I sat myself on the couch and watched Soccer AM with a cuppa. I rang around my little posse and confirmed that our lot would indeed be making for The Bell, spot on!

TV off and home shirt on, we made for the pub (via Tesco’s for a sarnie). It was great to have that match day feeling back.  I love the way that nearly all the locals will wish us luck when they see us in the red and blue. I can’t be the only one to notice this.



After a couple of pints kick off was approaching, so we jumped on the 103 and rolled on to Vicky road. Due to a couple of people dithering whilst trying to get on the bus we arrived about a minute after kickoff and before we had got through the turnstiles I could hear the Wombles in full voice. After wedging myself into my favoured spot in the sieve I took in the game.

The first half hour I thought we looked really good, we were getting the ball down and passing it about and we certainly looked in more control than we had at Macclesfield. Wimbledon hardly got a shot in and the Daggers came close so many times. Williams, Nurse and Lee all had chances that never became goals. Towards the end of the half the Dons woke up a little and this little rash of enthusiasm lead to a throw near our box. As the long throw came in Scott Doe controlled it with his arm in the box and conceded a penalty, which was deftly converted by Luke Moore.



At this point I decided to go for a burger and I watched the rest of the half from the back of the sieve with a mouth full of bacon cheese burger. I have to say I wasn't too concerned with the score at this point. We had controlled the game for the most had looked very threatening at times and I honestly thought we would get at least a point from the match.

But the second half was a different affair all together. We gave it a go don’t get me wrong, but when our defence let Rashid Yussuff take a superb strike from outside the box to make it 2-0 it was safe to say the writing was on the wall. The daggers heads dropped, our fans heads dropped and anyone to do with AFC Wimbledon were having a ball and it showed. I think as fans we were a little disappointing, not much song was in the air and I think the was an air of entitlement to the three points that were on offer than day. Sadly this is football no one is entitled to anything!





Despite 5 minutes of us getting corners and Phil Walsh coming so close, the Wombles walked out with three points and a song in their heart. We filed out in silence with no points and a big doom cloud above our heads. There was no clapping after the final whistle and a few boos could be heard. The players walk around to clap the crowd was decidedly short and subdued and only a few stayed to clap them back. Daggers had made history once again, this time for being the first league club to lose to AFC Wimbledon.



In the Bell afterwards the mood was a little grey and when I got home and flipped on my laptop the forum was ablaze with criticism, counter-criticism and mudslinging. But amongst it all I think we know this will be hard season. League 2 this time round is a much harder league but on the good side last year we beat two of the biggest sides in this league (Bristol, Swindon,)

And a top half finish is on the cards, honest!

I really hope we beat Swindon, I really do! But we need to get behind the team and make some noise!




Chin up Daggers!!
(That goes for you lot too)

FMD
Next – Swindon, and Dicannio returns to East London.