Sunday, 3 October 2010


So after counting the pennies I realised I couldn't afford to get to Colchester for this game so I resigned myself to listening to yet another game I really wanted to go to! So with a beer in hand and a headphone in my lug'ole I sat down for what had to be the most intense game to listen to at home!
So as is the fashion of the time, I am gonna hand you over to JerkFromTheCoach for a look at the Essex Derby!

Tuesday 28th September - Colchester United - Away
A match retort (by JerkFromTheCoach)

So, here we are. A nice Essex derby for us to sink our teeth into with a club showing immense ambition with the new stadium, and having had a superb unbeaten start to the season.
After a hard day of sleeping until 11am, and doing nothing from then on, I made my way to meet friends at around 4pm, looking forward to this encounter maybe a tad more than any game we had played thus far at this level. I had to stop myself numerous times from licking my lips at the prospect of a local derby against our Essex kin from Colchester. At least, that was, until there was no longer any sugar on my lips. In fact, in fairness, I was probably just licking the sugar for its sweet sweet taste – but I felt it’d make a good start to this write up, so there you have it.

The five of us set off for an adventure in the deepest darkest country. Travelling with me was Dick, my border colli…..hang on a second, that’s not my story at all.
…anyhow, we set off at around 5:15pm, and to be fair we probably should have driven through Hornchurch (I thought I’d be the first to say it – private joke I guess, but included nonetheless) as the traffic through Romford wasn’t the best. Still, I suppose it could have been worse, after getting through the tangled mess around North Street we hit the open road and managed to not get stuck en route to the ground thereon. At least not that I can remember. It all seemed pretty plain sailing. Being that it was around rush hour I expected there to be a bit more of a fight getting into Essex but this was never to be thankfully. Other people arrived at the ground late (kudos to the lads who got an old school rush of blood to the head and went to Layer Road instead on the spanking new Western Communist Phones stadium), some giving details of traffic issues in the Gallows Corner area which for some reason we managed to clear within around 8 seconds. I would say that we timed it just right, but not being a confident fellow, I think that everyone else just timed it wrong. This man knows his plastic cup is half empty.

Sampling the Western Communist Phones Stadium for the first time, I have to say I was quite impressed by it aesthetically, and the experience was good for me, save the price of refreshments and foodstuff which seemed more than a touch OTT given that they are a club realistically not much bigger than ourselves whichever way you look at it. The price of the car park (actually, read car swamp, I thought it would have been a nice gesture of them to lay on some towels for when we got out of that swamp to save fungal infection rates sky rocketing) could have been a bit more reasonable too. I suppose though, that this is how a club like Colchester makes extra money these days. Build a new ground well out of town forcing people to basically buy your beer and food, and pay to park in your car park because there are no further options available. I’d be interested to see what their fans think of it.
Toilets were clean, well presented, and everything you expect from a new stadium – i.e. they flushed and locked.


Upon taking our seats, one couldn’t help but notice the big empty gapes where people probably were expected to be sitting when the stadium went through its planning phase. In fact, I think we had been moved from the Away stand to an area at the end of one of the home stands. I can see why clubs do it, but I don’t really like it. As it goes, the view was superb. I thought it was quite roomy too. All in all, for a flat pack, run of the mill new ground, I thought it ranked quite highly.
So, to kick off. After the curse of the green kit was quashed down at Charlton, and a superb second half display in which we were unlucky to come away with just a point at the end, I think a lot of people had high hopes for this. I won’t use the word expectation as we all know we are Dagenham. If we go down but go down fighting and the lads give us the usual 100% I’ll be happy – I don’t think anyone would argue that. We have more than enough quality to mix it up here in League One, and I think we are starting to show that. A bright start from us saw us performing the usual high tempo game, but with the same purpose we showed in the second half at the Valley – all credit to the boys on the pitch, and further applause goes to those around me in the crowd who once again managed to make a helluva racket constantly throughout. [FMD – I could hear you all on the commentary!! Are you sure there were any Colchester fans there?]

Quarter of an hour in and we got what we deserved. One nil up in the Iron Curtain Stadium, and Bas Savage moonwalking off into the distance. Great to see him get his first goal under his belt, tapping in from a couple of yards out after a ball in from Tomlin. Unfortunately it wasn’t to last the entire half, Colchester did have their own chances in the first half, though I felt we edged it. A couple of minutes before half time, Colchester levelled through a well taken goal by Vincent. A further chance for Dagenham at the end of the half again falling to Bas Savage went agonisingly wide of Cousins’ goal, and we went in at half time all square at 1-1, but with our heads held high. We were playing well.

During the break we were treated to what Gareth Gates [FMD – Isn’t he dead?] will become in the future, when Colchester’s announcer s-s-stuttered his way through his a-a-announcements, which I have to admit I found a little tedious as I do with all games. I don’t know why we can’t just have a little funky music so that those of the persuasion can do a little body popping before the game recommences. Okay, so that never happens when we do get music, but we live in hope.

Second half time upon us, Colchester were much more lively and created a good amount of chances, I don’t think it was undeserved that they managed to put another in the back of Robbo’s goal, at the same time though I can’t say we deserved to be a goal down. The crowd continued to get fully behind the team, with the same song continuing before, during, and after Colchester scoring (and giving us the most bellended goal celebration ever when they all ran along waving at the empty stand in a tepid attempt at humour. Face it lads, nothing is going to be as funny as those poxy U’s gnomes they sell, is it? We got a deserved equaliser through Romain ‘Je Mal A La Tet’ Vincelot, who I think worried us all when he just dropped to the ground showing no movement whatsoever on 72 minutes. [FMD - It was about this time I texted Jerk’ to find out if it was as bad as it was described, to which he replied “it was horrible”]. Nearly ten minutes, and a lot of medical attention from a lot of different people passed before thankfully he was on his feet and walked off the pitch. During this time, Colchester fans started singing, which wasn’t taken well by us – but I have since read that no offence was intended by it (the timing was poor though) and he got a standing ovation from all fou…..three sides of the ground. Some bloke called Magnus also went off, but que sera sera…my tongue is in cheek when I type that. [FMD - anyone who clashes heads with Magnus and lives to tell the tale is double ‘ard!]

The game at times was like ping pong in the boxes, Colchester had a couple of great late chances striking the post and having a ball cleared off the goal line – we are starting to show the sort of fight we will need to stay in League One, and long may it go on!
Upon the final whistle, I was pleased with the point, a point on the road to an unbeaten team in a derby game is a decent result for a newly promoted side.
So off we trudged, through the swamp and back to the car to sit there doing nothing for half an hour while Colchester versions of the Chuckle Brothers tried to work out how to get people out….and then seemed to just disappear having left the job three quarters not-done.

So that’s that.
Remember people, in Soviet Colchester – game decides you!

Thank you Jerk-miester!
You’ve now made me wish I had been there even more. Sooooooo "bums" to you!
Good report though ^_^

And as a little treat, here is Bas doing the moonwalk, because every other highlight cut it off!

Also I’d like to introduce a new video segment I call “Loan Watch” this time we have Phil Walsh scoring a screamer for Barnet! (edit - i don't know why youtube insists on showing this in windscreen, the original video file doesn't cut the bottom off! oh well all new things have teething problems!)

So with that I have nearly caught up with everything after the week off due to the bad tooth (root canal this Thursday!!) I will write up the Swindon game very soon.
Up the Daggers!!


Next – Swindon go home with NOTHING!

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